My Alternative to NHL Hockey

During the last NHL lockout, Texas Holdem' Poker made a big surge.  Men around the country needed a competitive spectacle to occupy their time, and the stars of the poker world were all too happy to fill that need.

Well, now there's another lockout.  And those that like poker have stuck with it.  It looks like the rest of us hockey fans are looking for another outlet.

Look no further.  I am offering up my own nightly ritual as fodder for the masses.  Simply put, I suggest we videotape and broadcast my efforts to change my infant baby's diaper and put on her pyjama.

Here's what I promise to you, the fan:

• Three 20-minute periods, during which the outcome is never a certainty.
• There will be sweating, swearing, usually some hooking, and lots of shame.
• Assuming I manage to get the diaper on, I will give a post-completion interview, where I will discuss my strategy during the diapering, which will likely involve some combination of luck, yelling and a complete disregard for whether or not the diaper is even on properly.
• Headed into the pyjama'ing, I will offer viewers the opportunity to call in an choose the pyjama of their choice.  This will allow you, the fan, to choose a zippered pyjama, or the dreaded over-the-head, buttons at the bottom model.  Because unlike the NHL, I care about entertaining the fans. 
• On Saturday nights, a pre-game show will be available, where fans can watch as I also attempt to feed the infant dinner.  A post-game show will also feature my midnight frustration at the baby's constant wakings.  The post-game show is guaranteed to offer you a grown man's tears.

There you go hockey fans.  Trust me, after you see me doing this, you'll never need another hockey game in your life.  Oh, and for American viewers, I will also have a glowing diaper to make it easier for you to follow the action.