Mr. Green Thumbs

I hope Pea isn't allergic to grass.  

My Pea deserves nothing but the best.  That's where today's story starts, and ultimately, costs me a crapload of money.

Since last Thursday, I have been off work.  I took some much needed time to tend to several household errands that I have been putting off because, quite frankly, I'd rather spend time with Pea at the end of my day and on weekends than weed and mow the lawn for example.  

But, after several menacing stares from my neighbour, who was pulling dandelions up from his lawn while the seeds from those on my lawn blew in his face, it became apparent I needed to put forth some effort and show a little pride in ownership.

I headed to Canadian Tire and purchased the Fiskars weed puller, a Godsend for my genetically weak back.  I then proceeded to pull 4 yard waste bags full of weeds and dead flowers from both my front and back yard.  

When I was done with the front yard, I felt immense pride.  Beauty was again restored.  

When I was done with the back yard, well, let's just say it looked nice but it just wasn't right.  You see, last year grubs ravaged our lawn and all that remained was a horrible patchwork of clover, dirt/dust and yellow grass.  This confirmed what I had been dreading: I needed to re-sod the back yard so Pea can have a level, lush and safe place to frolic.

For those who have never re-sodded, here is a rundown of the tasks:

1. Rid the yard of weeds.  
2. Lure an unsuspecting family member over to the house to assist with the arduous removal of the old grass.  In this case, the father-Pod-in-law came by to assist in this unenviable task. Poor guy. 
3. Research Junk Removal services to get rid of the old lawn from the back yard. Determine best choice, contact them, have them come by and give a quote that is $500 more expensive than expected, tell them to shove it, stare at the old torn up lawn in the backyard for a few hours, cry, find alternate solution to get rid of sod.  
4. Find a non-toxic, pesticide free manner to eradicate existing lawn of grubs.  (Note: this is actually virtually impossible thanks to new city by-laws.)
5. Purchase one of those fashionable large yellow bags of top soil.  
6. Purchase 36 rolls of premium quality, Pea-approved sod. 
7. Lure an unsuspecting family member over to house to assist in fertilizing existing top soil, laying out new top soil and rolling out sod.  The father-Pod-in-law did not learn lesson during step 2, and is back for more.  
8. Water, water, water.  
9. Watch Pea frolic in yard for years and years to come.  

By comparison, here are the steps to overseeding (which likely would have produced comparable results):  

1. Lay down some top soil.
2. Grab a handful of grass seed.
3. Chuck it on the lawn.
4. Water, water, water. 
5. Watch Pea frolic in yard for years and years to come.
   

Did I mention the Pod is allergic to grass?  And that allergies are genetic.  

Sigh.

I may not know what I want my Pea to become, but I hope she isn't allergic to grass.