What the hell happened here?

I hope Pea doesn’t let greed affect her business decisions.

Dear Tooth Fairy Inc.,

For the next 7-13 years, I will be telling my Pea that whenever she loses a tooth, your company will send a “Tooth Fairy” to fly in through her window and deposit untold riches beneath her pillow. I will keep up my end of this bargain – and pony up the money to be left under her pillow - because I believe it is an essential part of her creative development to believe such nonsense (for a relatively short period of time).

After all, if Pea is happy, I'm happy.

That said, I don’t think you are holding up your end of this arrangement.

The sole purpose of your business is to regulate the value of teeth. It has recently come to my attention that your company is seriously mismanaging the economic forecasting aspect of your business. This mismanagement has the potential to leave me and many other new parents with a debilitating and irreversible tooth-for-cash program.

I’ve heard today's going rate for a tooth can be anywhere between $15 and $20, depending on the size of the tooth. HOW COULD THIS BE? Twenty-five years ago, when I was a kid, a tooth was worth $1 MAXIMUM. Inflation alone would not bring us to these present day values, and I am unaware of an increased demand for children’s teeth. In fact, I do not believe children’s teeth have any value whatsoever, and as such a $1 reward is more than generous.

What’s more, this $15-$20 estimate is a current value. I cringe when I think of what a tooth will be worth in a few years, when Pea loses her first. Will I have to give her a Counterfeit Money Detection System along with a crisp $50 bill? I certainly hope not.

Madoff Investment Securities. Fannie Mae. Freddy Mac. All of the American Banks. These are but a few examples of what can happen when greed, corruption and corporate mismanagement take hold of a business.

I challenge you to reclaim your dignity, Tooth Fairy Inc., before the very people you seek to assist turn their backs on you.

Kind regards,
A Concerned Financier

CC: Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, The Walt Disney Company

I may not know what I want my Pea to become, but I hope she doesn’t let greed affect her business decisions.