Um, wow.

I hope Pea isn't subjected to bad bus shelter advertising.

Along my brief walk to and from work every day, I have the privilege and honour of of seeing some of the country's finest advertising work.  There are some billboards, but very few. Mainly, I'm privy to some excellent bus shelter work.

In case you missed it, that last sentence was rife with sarcasm.

Don't get me wrong.  I have many friends who work in advertising and there are some really great attention-grabbing bus shelters out there.  Some advertisers do great work.

But, like any realistic Dad will tell his kids, you can't win'em all. Or, in this case, you can't Wind'em all.

For the past few days, I've noticed a Wind Mobile ad that has been driving me crazy.  Mainly because I just don't like it, but in large part because I can't imagine trying to build a brand without clear advertising, especially in such an important industry.  

As I do from time to time, I imagine conversations between people I don't know.  Seeing this bus shelter ad made me wonder what the ad approval session was like in the Wind offices when this gem was given the thumbs up. Here we go...

Inexperienced Ad Employee #1: I think we should talk up the fact that we don't have contracts.  It says here in my Advertising for Dummies book that we should focus on what makes our product unique.

Inexperienced Ad Employee #2: I never would have thought of that, good thinking.

Inexperienced Ad Employee #1: Yeah, thanks.  I got this book for Christmas.

Inexperienced Ad Employee #2: Score!

Inexperienced Ad Employee #1: Ok, so we don't have contracts.  We are a relatively new company, and a lot of Canadians won't know anything about us.  They won't necessarily recognize our name, so...

Inexperienced Ad Employee #2: ... so we should definitely keep them guessing!  That way they will have to go out of their way to find out about us, like a cool club that doesn't have a sign!  Try this idea on, see how it fits... let's not even put a photo of our product on the bus shelter!

Inexperienced Ad Employee #1: You just blew my mind. 

Inexperienced Ad Employee #2: Thanks.  I had a muffin for breakfast.

Inexperienced Ad Employee #1: I can tell.

Inexperienced Ad Employee #2: Ok, so no photo of our product.  What about the ad copy?  Should we make it clear, or vague and confusing?

Inexperienced Ad Employee #1: I heard Snooki and J-Wow on Jersey Shore saying that everyone likes a little mystery and intrigue in their lives... it makes things exciting.

Inexperienced Ad Employee #2: I saw that episode too, but I think they were talking about what they like in men.

Inexperienced Ad Employee #1: But it must apply to advertising too, right?

Inexperienced Ad Employee #2: I'd imagine so.

Inexperienced Ad Employee #1: Great.  

Inexperienced Ad Employee #2: Ok, so how's about "Don't sign right here please."

Inexperienced Ad Employee #1: What do you mean?  I don't get it.  Does it mean, "Don't vandalize this bus shelter?"  It's pretty confusing.

Long pause.

Together: It's perfect!

Inexperienced Ad Employee #1: But maybe we should put a little bracket at the bottom that says "No contracts."

Inexperienced Ad Employee #2: Did you read that in Advertising for Dummies?

Inexperienced Ad Employee #1: (flips through the book) I can't remember, this book is so big, I only skimmed it.

Inexperienced Ad Employee #2: Ok, let's include it.  Why not?

Inexperienced Ad Employee #1: This is really coming along. What about colours?

Inexperienced Ad Employee #2: How about green?

Inexperienced Ad Employee #1: Really, green?  I've heard green is an extremely difficult colour to reproduce in print.  It can look very unappealing and it has an environmental slant that many people find off-putting.

Inexperienced Ad Employee #2: Where did that come from?

Inexperienced Ad Employee #1: The book.

Inexperienced Ad Employee #2: Right... but green is my favourite colour!

Inexperienced Ad Employee #1: That's so true, you always look good in green!  It brings out the colour in your eyes!  Let's do it.

Inexperienced Ad Employee #2: Yay!

Inexperienced Ad Employee #1: Ok, so let's recap.  We have a bus shelter ad with no graphic representation of our product despite being new to the market.  We have sloppy and confusing ad copy.  And a bad colour that you look good in.

Inexperienced Ad Employee #2: Way to go us!

Inexperienced Ad Employee #1: Do you think we should get sign-off on this one?

Inexperienced Ad Employee #2: Naw.  Let's surprise our co-workers with our cleverness and outside-of-the-box thinking.

Inexperienced Ad Employee #1: You just blew my mind. Again.

Inexperienced Ad Employee #2: Thanks.  I had a muffin for breakfast.

All this to say, the ad wasn't something that appealed to me.

I may not know what I want my Pea to become, but I hope she isn't subjected to bad bus shelter advertising.