Honey, there's someone at the door...

I hope Pea doesn't believe everything she reads.

A lot of people don't actually know the story of how the stork became associated with the arrival of a new child, so I thought I would enlighten you here today.  Kind of like a PSA, for the stork industry. It really is an interesting story...

The year was 1819.  A young farmer named Harrison Stonewall and his wife lived on a remote farm in Topeka, Kansas.  They raised cattle, mainly, but there was a pond on their farm and Harrison prided himself on maintaining a bit of an oasis for local wildlife.  He'd put out food for birds, kept hay for grazing deer and kept the pond clean for koi fish he brought in from Kansas City.

From the onset of their relationship, Harrison and his wife knew that the possibility of children was remote.  Harrison had been kicked in the groin by a mule as a young child and the lack of adequate healthcare in the neighborhood meant he'd received medical attention too late to repair the damage. True love, however, knows no bounds and the couple married just the same.

One day, while tending to his pond, Harrison witnessed a stork flying overhead.  It circled a few times, descended on the pond and landed a few feet away.  The stork then swam closer and splashed water with its wing all over Harrison's pants and work boots.  Then, it took flight once more and never returned.  

Neither before nor since has there been a stork sighting in the state of Kansas.  Harrison knew this, and dared not tell any one of the encounter for fear of being mocked.  

However, Harrison did somehow feel different.  Overcome with energy, he made love to his wife later that night and as you might expect this story to end, they became pregnant with their first and only child.

Convinced that the stork somehow aided them in the conception of their child, Harrison and his wife built a wooden homage to the stork and placed it beside the pond in their backyard.

If this story seems ridiculous, impossible and stupid, that's because it is... I made it all up, because to me this story makes just about as much sense as putting a wooden stork on your lawn to announce the arrival of your child.

For one, the idea of a stork delivering a child to your house completely demeans the incredibly hard work the mother endured to bring that child into the world.  In most cases, hours of incredibly difficult and painful labour will have followed months of constant physical pain and to dismiss all that by saying a cute stork dropped the baby on your doorstep would, to me, be insulting.

Second, those who've read this blog before know that I keep the basic details of my family life pretty guarded.  Pea is not really my daughter's name, nor is my wife really named the Pod.  So to broadcast all of the pertinent details of my child's birth on what amounts to a billboard on my lawn makes even less sense, again, to me.  Those who I want to know will not need to read it on my lawn.

These are my reasons for stork derisiveness.  That said, if you had a stork on your lawn following the birth of your child, ordered one for a relative, or plan on placing one on your lawn after the birth of your children, I'd love to hear from you.  It clearly isn't my cup of tea, but there is an entire lawn stork industry out there that is thriving, which means plenty of people are keen on the idea.

Leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts, pro or con.  (If you have a hard time commenting on my blog, just choose the Anonymous option when filling out the Comment section... and be sure to leave your name so we know who you are.)

I may not know what I want my Pea to become, but I hope she doesn't believe everything she reads.

PS - Yes, I may have gone a little overboard with my mocking of the lawn stork phenomenon, I assure you I have nothing but love for all parents — those who stork, and those who do not.  Tolerance is the name of the game... and with your help, understanding can also be achieved.