Decisions, decisions

I hope Pea doesn't remember her father's selfishness.

Prior to Pea being born, an invitation from a friend to spend a few nights camping in the wilderness required little contemplation. Really, the only question was 'Can I spare the vacation days?'

Now, the same invitation has consequences and requires more thought than I ever would have imagined. Sure, I'd need to square away the vacation stuff with the people that issue my paycheck, but many other concerns come to mind.

• Will the Pod be OK managing her own job and the after work role of being a solo mom for a few days? She's a great mom, and I know she'll be fine, but how guilty will I feel leaving for a few days?
• Will Pea balk at the relatively long-term change in her routine without me around? Perhaps more importantly, will she thrive without me around?
• Will I be able to handle being away from the two of them for a few days? As it is, I can't wait to get home after work, and that's only 10 hours.
• Will Pea harbor deep-seeded resentment well into her teens for the abandonment she remembers vividly from "Dad's SELFISH Camping Trip, 2009"?
• Will it even be warm enough to camp this August? I mean, c'mon, it hasn't exactly been the balmy Summer we've all grown accustomed to experiencing around here.
• Will the other campers make fun of me if I cry in my tent at night because I miss my family?

I'm trying hard to remind myself that having a life away from my family is a good thing for my family. For instance, the hockey I play once a week helps me relax, decompress and keep my marginally pear-shaped body from becoming a tomato-shaped mess. Without this hockey, I'd have no release and I might not be able to cope with parenting challenges with my current level of mediocrity. Ultimately, it's good for me, and us.

But hockey is 2 hours, once a week. What we're talking about here is 3-4 solid days away from them.

More questions... How soon is too soon? How long is the drive? How firm is the inflatable mattress in the basement? What kind of beer should I bring? Does the lantern need new batteries?

I guess I'm going. But I'm not gonna like it.

I may not know what I want my Pea to become, but I hope she doesn't remember her father's selfishness.