The 'thrill' of meeting new people

I hope Pea doesn’t always reenact scenes from thriller movies when she meets new people.

Pea, the Pod and I attended a party this weekend for Oscar, a family friend who was celebrating a milestone birthday. Feliz cumpleanos Oscar!

Throughout the party, Pea played shy and wouldn’t go much more than 2 or 3 feet away from either the Pod or me. She played quietly with another baby, but whenever an unknown adult would get too close she’d reach for my collar and hold on for dear life or hide in between my legs.

To give you a visual, it’s like that scene in any good thriller movie when the young protagonist sees something truly mortifying so she backs slowly away from said mortifying scene, only to back straight into a wall. She then realizes she has no where left to go so she tries to climb the wall as she looks over her shoulder at the impending doom.

Pea's reaction is kind of like that, only not quite so horrific.

I digress.

Pea's shyness has been prevalent for a few months now and as far as I am concerned it’s all part of her normal development. She likes to check things and people out before getting too engaged and she can never be too far from her comfort zone.

I keep telling myself she’ll outgrow her shyness and handle social situations with greater ease, but I’m not so sure she will… in fact, I’m not convinced any of us really stop clinging to our parents' ankles, metaphorically speaking.

Now I’m not saying we’re all teat-suckling introverts. But when was the last time you struck up a conversation with someone in an elevator? Huh? Be honest.

The fact is that many of us approach people we’ve never met with a genuine sense of trepidation and skepticism. We keep our cards close and hold on to the familiar: our surroundings, our associations and our routines.

That’s why I find it so hard - and so hypocritical - to tell Pea: “Don’t be shy sweetie, that’s Mrs. So-and-so. She’s nice.” Truth be told, when I meet someone new I’m often nervous and uncomfortable. It takes time – sometimes seconds, sometimes weeks, sometimes never – before I am at completely at ease with someone new. I guess somewhere along the road, I just became better at hiding my wall-climbing fear.

And it doesn’t help, I’m sure, that we are constantly warning our kids to be weary of strangers. One minute, it’s “don’t ever talk to people you don’t know”, and the next it’s “say Hi to the little baby… give him a piece of your Mum-Mum!”

That’s one for the Mixed Messages Hall of Fame!

In the end, Pea’s comfort is what I really care about. Eventually, she’ll become more comfortable meeting new people and managing her nervousness.

And if that fails, there’s always Acting school!

I may not know what I want my Pea to become, but I hope she doesn’t always reenact scenes from thriller movies when she meets new people.