Battling land sharks takes confidence!

I hope Pea doesn't fear self-confidence.

I've been blogging for a few weeks now, but I've been reluctant to tell people.  I'm not exactly sure why, but I think it might be that the topic of my blog is not typically one you would expect a man to blog about.  I would imagine guys are expected to blog about sports and the ladies and what brand of pot yields the best buzz while still being cost effective (does that make sense?... are there 'brands' of pot?... do pot people worry about cost effectiveness?... I don't know, I've never touched a doobie in my life... do people still say doobie?... Weeds has taught me so little...).  Yup, I'm always a little weary of the dreaded gender role.

My insecurity has led me to promote my blog in quiet circles and to close friends only.  In so doing, I have no idea if anyone is actually reading.  I do have 31 profile visits though... let's see, there's my parents (2 people), my sister (1 person), my sister-in-law (1 person), then there's the Pod (1 person), and I've clicked on my own profile at least 8 times, so that leaves 18 independent readers.  Not bad.

Truth is, the more I do this, the more I realize that a) it's kind of fun, and b) I don't really care if I am not supposed to write about this stuff.  I am proud of what I'm doing. 

I'm quickly moving past my concerns vis-a-vis gender roles because I won't let the X's and Y's of life dictate who Pea is and what she becomes, so why should I let those same X's and Y's rule me?

If Pea wants to play hockey or get a G.I. J'eh (the Canadian version of G.I. Joe), then she can.  If she wants to become a mechanic or an engineer, two fields typically dominated by men, well I'll foot the bill!  Hell, I work in Corporate Communications and I can count on one hand the number of men I have worked with since I began my career 9 years ago. Who am I to defend gender roles?  

I'm feeling liberated here people!  Here's some more!

• I was proud when the ultrasound technician told us we were having a girl.  Most guys want the boy to perpetuate the name and blah blah blah, but I didn't know how I would manage to raise a boy who is tough enough to defend himself and others while raising a boy who is sensitive and caring for others.  So I am proud that my Pea is a she.  (That said, I'm hopeful there will be more Pea's in the Pod at some point, at least one of which is a boy, and I look forward to the challenge.)     

• I watch Gossip Girl.  Religiously.  I get irritable when it isn't on.  And anyone who claims it sucks is lying.  Lying to your face.  You should reconsider being friends with anyone that says it sucks.  I also watch The After Show on MTV and I like it.  I want Dan Levy's eyeglasses.

• I like carrying my kid around in our Baby Björn.  It makes me feel close to her, and I melt when she falls asleep with her head resting on my chest.  I also cherish pushing the stroller around.  It kind of makes me feel like I'm the captain of the S.S. Bugaboo, and Pea is my first mate. 

That certainly isn't an exhaustive list, but that will do for now.  

The point is, Pea will face enough challenges as she grows up.  Soon, she will learn to walk, then talk, and before we know it she'll be fighting the super-insects and land-walking sharks that will rule the Earth when global warming reaches its climax.  To do that, she'll need all the confidence she can muster.

I may not know what I want my Pea to become, but I hope she doesn't fear a little self-confidence.