It's nearly 10:30pm, and the Pod is away at a stagette tonight. Which means it's just me and Pea until about 2:30am. Five ounces of milk await in the fridge, which should be enough, but I needed backup to feel more secure. I hit up the local Wal-Mart for a little formulaic support.
This is our first formula purchase. A big deal for us, and for Pea. We chose Enfapro A+. It's engineered like crazy... enriched with calcium and lipids and it has a built-in sunroof and On-Star*.
As I prepared the bottle, Pea yelled at me from her play pen, which made a nerve-wracking experience a lot easier for me. I have heard you have to follow the formula directions to the letter, so I was a little nervous.
While I couldn't understand her angry mutterings, my nerves coupled with a wild imagination led to the following daydream:
Pea: Hey! What are you making?
Me: It's Ok baby, Daddy's just preparing you some formula... Mmmm... formula! Who wants some formula? Pea wants some formula!
Pea: You're a dipstick. Mom will feed me, don't worry about the formula. Just get me out of here. Where is mom anyway?
Me: Yummy yummy yummy formula! Yummy yummy yummy formula!
Pea: STOP TALKING LIKE THAT! Where is mom? I haven't seen her for a while.
Me: Mmm, formula! Mmm, formula! Mmm, formula!
Pea: Ooooh, I get it, I'm a baby, Mmm Mmm Mmm, let's talk like dorks, Mmm Mmm Mmm. Listen, I'm a baby, not an idiot. Knock it off. MOM?
Me: ForMUla! FORmula! FormuLA!
Pea: Seriously, STOP! MOOOOM?
PEA'S INNER MONOLOGUE:
Wait a minute... I smelled hairspray and nail polish upstairs earlier, Mom looked hot the last time I saw her and the hairy fella is making formula. Oh my God. Mom's. Not. Here.
Pea: (Expletive Deleted) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
Me: Ok baby, it's ready!
Pea: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
For the next 20 minutes, I tried to keep Pea calm while I waited for the formula to cool down a bit... I made it too hot, OK? To her credit, Pea made good use of the 20 minutes by growing increasingly angry and impatient with me. There was lots of crying, several more imaginary curse words thrown my way and many beads of sweat rolling down my neck.
When the formula finally cooled down, Pea gobbled it up in record time. I think she took 3 ounces in 1 and a half minutes... yes, I will be calling Guiness tomorrow. She appears to like it!
Afterwards, she was pretty frazzled from having been so frantic for so long, so she heaved those heartbreaking gasps while she regained her composure. She finally fell asleep in my arms 10 minutes after finishing her formula.
Success.
The Pod and I have discussed formula for quite a while, and I am relieved we have started. I am hopeful that this will help Pea's separation anxiety and make feeding on-the-go a little easier. I am also comforted to know that we will keep breastfeeding and supplementing with formula until Pea turns 1, because that seems to be what everyone recommends. Seems like we can now enjoy the best of both worlds.
And in the end, I'll get to spend a little more time with Pea staring up at me while she drinks from her bottle. I'll really enjoy this time, because before long, she won't even want me around because I tried to be funny in front of her friends and embarassed her somehow.
Ah, they grow up so fast, don't they?
I may not know what I want my Pea to become, but I hope she doesn't take forever to realize that I too am a source of nourishment.
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